Will You Puleease Hold Still

A couple of weeks ago I finally got the chance to see the live butterfly exhibit at Brookside Gardens. Basically they fill a greenhouse with live butterflies and various types of flowers. I had never taken pictures of butterflies but I figured it would be a cakewalk. Hey, colorful butterflies on beautiful flowers, thems easy pickin's for an amateur photographer. Well, it was not nearly as easy as I had hoped. They just refuse to sit still no matter how much you beg. I finally resorted to wandering around slowly, opportunistically, hoping to catch one with all the right conditions.

Strange, I think that sometimes we choose hobbies that are in reality just fun ways to conquer our weaknesses. I think successful photography seems requires patience most of all, something that I have never been know to have in abundance. (Which is why I never pursued photography before "digital".) I have an old friend who due to his premature birth has poor eyesight, a lack of depth perception and a slight but persistent limp. And he can't sing worth a damn either. Some of his favorite hobbies are photography, dancing and leading other in Christian worship. Strange.

Enjoy:

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My Life Is Broken!

Broken!
I think the whole idea started about five years ago. I remember watching a toddler being pushed on a swing by his mother. At that moment I couldn't help but wish I was a child again, without a care. I needed a vacation bad, and not a short one. In the years following I also began to get disillusioned with my career and frustrated with all the things that were "undone" in my life. I guess my mid-life crisis was beginning and I felt a need for a pre-emptive strike.

Looking at various aspects of my life I began to see a pattern:

Career: I had no idea where I wanted to be in 5 years or even the next year. After 7 years as a programmer I had yet to really experience many of the things I had entered my vocation for. The conclusion, Broken!

Love Life: Here's a picture of the last one I called "sweetheart". That's Broken!

Health: My cardiologist told me, "Bob we need to lose a third of you." I've gotten very overweight and its at the point where my weight gets in the way of its solutions. I can't jog because it's too much strain on my knees; I've been through two back wheels on my bike and had to refit it with stronger spokes; I can't bend over long enough to tie a decent knot in my hiking boots with the result that my feet ache after a hike from sloshing around in the shoe. You get the idea, Broken!

House: My house is filled with room after room of unfinished projects. Ten years ago I bought a "fix me up" and, you guessed it, it still shouts, "fix me up!". Very Broken!

Spiritual Life: Take my word for it, its Broken!

Fixing It
I think the catalyst for this whole idea began when I quit a quite decent job and took one that was supposed to take my career in new and exciting directions. It turned out to be a total disaster on every level, the industry was wrong, the skills I had were wrong for the job and the direction I chose was wrong for me. In about a month it was obvious that I didn't belong there and my boss knew it. If I didn't leave I was afraid I'd be fired. I'd sort of burned a bridge to get the job and now I felt stuck with no idea where I wanted to go.

At the time I had a friend (yeah, I actually have a few of them, yuk, yuk) who was a teacher at a private school. This institution gave their teachers a six month paid sabbatical after they gained tenure. That sounded great to me right now. Time to think and pray and gain better direction for my aimless life. I had been studying the idea of taking periods of rest in the cycles of your life (i.e. practicing the "sabbath") and I thought I may just be able to give myself a sabbatical. With no family or kids to support, a low mortgage and fairly lucrative job skills, it just might be possible. I began to plan, budget and save in order to take a year off of work.

The Adventure Begins
So here I am three years later: jobless, a few dollars in the bank and all the time in the world. I realize that there are a few people who are now living vicariously through me, so I thought a blog would help them along. But seriously, I think this whole sabbatical thing is for everyone. Maybe not a year but I think we all need extended times in our life when we can stop, reflect on the past, renew our dreams for the future and enjoy the world around us. (Wait a minute, that's it! I'll write Hallmark cards for a living.) The blog also seemed like a good way to update you all, stay connected and perserve a record of my adventures.


What to Expect from MyLifeIsBroken!
As opinionated as I am I will try to keep the content light in keeping with a general audience. On this blog you will not find discussions on:

Who to vote for/against

The supposed evils of the flatted 5th

The veracity of the Q document

Why you should only eat what falls naturally from trees

For the most part I'll be posting photos, trip reports, progress reports and the insights I've gleaned specifically related to "Sabbatical Taking".

I'll will try to post two or three times a week though I may resort to "picture of the day" at times.

For now I will open up the blog to allow reader comments but I do fear those two dreaded extremes: 1. Spam and 2. The Lonely Blog Entry. And of course, there are always trolls about. I reserve the right to remove any reader comment for whatever reason.

Upcoming posts:

• Will you please stand still. - My first attempt at photographing butterflies

• 30 miles, Baby! - Riding the Western Maryland Rail Trail